2 1/2 years later

I doubt anyone will ever look at this.....I quite the blogging world back in '06. Back then, things were starting to get complicated in my life. Very complicated. I may turn this into a series here, to speak of things, of complications, of life. Who really knows, I may just kill this right after I type it.

So, anyway, here it is 2009. I still am ambivalent about blogging. I often wonder who really cares about my thoughts. I also ask myself, "Am I so needy for attention, that I turn to blogging to make myself feel important? Hopefully people will comment on my thoughts, and somehow validate me." I often feel a distaste toward social networking sites for that very reason. You cannot log into Facebook without someone telling their network their agenda. I really am not that interest if you ware watching Grey's Anatomy and then turning in with a bowl of Rocky Road or whatever it is you eat. You see my dilemma, I type, i write about me, when i am so turned off by it in others. I am a dichotomy of actions.....writing about my exploits while being generally displeased about other's updates into their lives.

So, for now, let's just put on an update. Its 2009, and I am in South Point, married to Lisa. We were split up for the bulk of 2007.....my choice. Anyone who might find their way here, well, that story would have to come later (if at all). Those who know about it, well, you know. Most of the things said were true, I did act in ways that were not right. It does take two to make or break it. I quit long ago, and the wheels continued to slowly, bitterly, hurtfully fall off. That was a while ago.....and some interesting things happened since. So, in the very essence of Seinfeld, we were split up, yadda, yadda, yadda, we are back together.

So, we are happy. Its a commitment to happiness. I know the things that make her tick, make her happy. I knew them then, but didn't care to do any of them for a long while. She knows mine as well, and she works with them as I do now. So, as I said, we are doing well. It is good all around, good for all. Are there those who were and maybe still are disappointed? Yes, but things happen, and life does continue.

One thing I know, and have stated for years, is that you cannot depend on people. Especially those of us in the religious/faith community. We build our faith up in the people that are in front of us. They are no different than you. They are broken (I hate that word simply because it sounds trite to me). Leaders are as susceptible to sin as all of us are. Not just susceptible, but possibly more likely, because to lead is to put pressure from the enemy on one's self. So, i say this......you sin, sometimes very purposefully, and they are no different. Even the best things we do are dirty cloths in light of God's righteousness. So, appreciate leaders, learn from them, but do not consider them to be infallible. We are all clothed in this imperfect, sinful flesh and no one gets out of that until its over. So, while we live in this flesh, we are in battle (Rom. 7). Those leaders, they are in the same battle....maybe they have learned to fight them better, but its only through experience, they did not get a free pass. People have aligned against me in a church once.....what do you do? I left Norway like Paul in a basket, quietly. I left pain in my wake....I am fallible. Weak if you must know. I apologize to you for that. I can't make it go away, or even make it up, you just have to let me stand on solid ground and try again. If you don't want to do that, well then, I will always be a disappointment to you.

Back to Lisa.....I can speak in a flowery language, calling her out as my gift. Speaking in loud tones of our love, strong, renewed, better than I remember. But this i know. Disease is lurking around every corner....a blight that will drain the life out of our shared love if we don't watch out. So we watch out, we pray (much more is needed), we commit. We have failed in commitments before, but as I say, you have to start somewhere. She is grand, and I will tell her so, often.

Kids are growing up very well....Sloane is a lovely 14 yr old. Dakota, 11, and newly baptized (Jan17th, 2009). What a family. We have the problems with attitudes and breaking rules, just like the rest of them. But they are good, and I love them. I am not that great of a father, but I try to show them love. Often I show them anger because of my issues with it, I don't model that finest servant, the finest anything. I just try. But, I fail (see 2 paragraphs above this one for further explanation).

I play the guitar at a church in the west end of Huntington. I sing as well. I am really quite taken with it. I don't always consider the weight of it, leading worship. If you always considered the weight of every act, then you would be so pressed, I am not sure if you would move. Grace is a fluid thing, and God means to teach us its fluid rhythm. Yes, realize the great honor it is to worship, to even be a part of leading it, but don't get so caught up in precision and a heaviness of being right, to not enjoy it. God's said His burden is light, because He takes that on. So, in light of that, I enjoy it. Yes, people are worshiping together....and I am playing a part in the music of it, and it brings us all closer to God. Does this make sense....I don't abdicate all responsibility, but I know this....if I waited til my playing was good enough or til my life was right enough, I would never be participating in this. If you really considered all that you did sinfully, how can you sit in a church? Our righteousness is not from ourselves, it is from the one who carried and carries our burden, and we are not meant to dwell in it. East to west. It is gone, live and love and be joyous in Him, regardless of your week. He wants it that way, I know that to be true. I can feel it, often when i play with the team (band), I can feel that. I feel that lightness, and it becomes a moment of grandeur. yes, I often focus on the playing, to make it sound right. And I feed off of that, but the playing of the instrument in His name is an act of worship. Just the playing of guitar is an edification as the lyrics are. When I learned that, I realized that the joy I feel in our rhythm is not just out of it being a good rhythm, but out of it connecting with Him.

So, that is it for now. If I continue, this could be messy, I often have random thoughts on faith, some are very strong in me and they boil up from time to time. Get me started of what happened at Kenova (my old church), and I can go on and on and on. All is forgiven, but I still remember it, and learn from it. I am not even sure if I will keep this up, and I am somewhat sure that I will not be telling anyone else about this. We will see.

If you come across this, send me an email at rob.williamson@marshall.edu. Let me know if it means anything, or just that you ran across it.

Its been...One (month) since you looked at me

Well, it has been a busy couple of weeks. Softball and baseball are both winding down. Last night I saw one of the exciting girl's softball games I had seen in a long time (not that I am a purveyor of girl's softball or anything, it was just an energetic game, late at night, under the lights, playing through rain). All of the parents were really into it, just a bunch of fun...and no fist fights. At the girl's last game, there were actually two men who got into a bloody fist fight over a family issue (could be serious). However, it is the first time I actually saw that type of violence since my days with Fight Club.

We went on our annual Memorial Day Camping trip with several families, which is a good thing. We had a great time, although there were a few things that might have gone better. No camping outing goes as planned, but drunk rednecks augmenting fires with gasoline while blowing an airhorn goes beyond normal issues. As the song says "If you're gonna be dumb, ya gotta be tough"...these guys were the perfect examples of that sentiment. Mercifully, they were removed, and the rest of the weekend went without major incident. I made friends with a severely inebriated camper next to us, named George, which was pretty funny. That night, I went to bed and he was just a passed out blob in his camp chair sitting next to the dying embers of his fire. I imagined him waking at 4 a.m., covered in dew, freezing. However, I talked to him a few times later during the weekend, and he did well. Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to the Imlay planned outing next year. Cameron, Elliott, Alli, Kailey, Kacy, Taylor and "White Hot" Tyler were a fun group to be with. I got to lead worship with Elliott, which was very nice as well.

Been working on preparing our yard for an above ground Sam's Special pool. That's fun...let me tell you. I have an uneven yard, so it has to worked down to a certain level. Well, this yard was the home to two big maples, one of which was removed very recently, but the roots remain. Big roots, impressive roots. After a day of shoveling and getting nowhere, I splurged on a rear tine RotoTiller. Nice, always fun working with big equipment. However, I had to stop often to remove large roots with my axe...oh yeah, I have an axe. Anyway, I am trying to finish that before I goto AZ on the mission trip. So, if I don't have a game in the evenings, I work on that. I missed this past Wednesday due to games and the weekend looks dicey as well.

VBS, there's another thing. Beginning Sunday I signed up as transportation chief for some of the local kids who need it. Flyers were passed out (missed that because of a game), so we hopefully will get interest in our event. It would be nice to get a good group of kids we don't know. But, that takes out every evening from Sunday to Wednesday. I will have to get packed Thursday for the mission trip caravan leaves on Friday...early. Just a buch of responsibility with little time, all colliding in a two week long period. It will happen, some things will just be missed along the way.

From my last entry, you probably know that I am in a Christian acoustic band named ThreeFold Chord. Well, we had a nice time at the church we played, got a lot of applause, felt really good. Fun times for sure. Now, we have another gig, coming up this Friday. We are providing some entertainment for the American Cancer Society Relay for Life in Ashland this weekend. We begin at 11:30 on Friday night and go for 30 minutes of more. We have been practicing for more than a few nights this week. Let's see, we practiced Sunday til late, then again on Tuesday til very late (I went to bed at 3 a.m.) and then last night (Wed.) and I went to be at 2 a.m. Its fun, but don't think I don't feel it...it catches up...I am not as young as I used to be. We are not practicing tonite, so I hope to get to bed early. We've been doing well in our practices...every song sounded really good last night. I am taking on a bigger role in the singing department, which makes me a bit nervous, but my singing has improved, I have to admit. So...the Chord rides again this weekend. I think we will have a decent fan base there, as alot of the people Dino knows and has sampled some of our stuff to will be there. So, with prayer, we look forward to singing songs about our Father and enjoying our time together.

That's it in a nutshell, an broad update on me and all things RobWill. Talk to you later.

ThreeFold Chord

Geez, it has been almost two months since my last post. Well...much has happened in that period, most of which I would not bore you with. Kids are in baseball/softball, I got through another grad semester with two A's. Lisa got a promotion. My brother got married, so all is good. Last Sunday we were at Hurricane, this Sunday was youth worship and graduation banquet, good, good stuff.

Now, tonight there is something special in store. About 3 or 4 years ago, I picked up a guitar in Dino's dental lab and strummed it a bit. I had played a short while in HS, mainly at my friends house for fun. I learned a few bass runs that I still remembered and played them at Dino's. He had a few and I would go and play with him. Well, he got me a used Galveston guitar for my birthday and I played it for at least a year. Then, he found a very nice Fender acoustic/electric that I play mainly now. I also got a hand me down Epiphone 12 string a few months ago, so my collection is a bit bigger.

One day, he and I were playing, early on, and I began to play this strange chord I had seen on a web site guitar tab, and we liked it. We put that together with a few more chords and had a melody. Then, we started to write lyrics. They came fairly easy to us, when we worked off of each other. We wrote a song called "Rescued Me". We wrote a few more songs here and there, just for fun. I liked writing songs, working creatively, its alot of fun to me, to hear it work. Soon after that, I met Dino's sister, Alicia...she has an amazing voice and also writes. We began to write and play/sing together. I started to think of things more in that mold. I had a long talk with my mother after Easter dinner a few years ago and that turned into a song. I wrote it in a day and when I read them to Dino and Alicia, he put music to it almost instantly. It usually works out that way, a group effort. I may play a riff or something, we like it, build from it and go from there. Dino is a more technical player that I am and I usually bring a better sense of rhythm to the table. Alicia hears great word melodies, and we all three write well with each other. So, one night I came up with the name "ThreeFold Chord" for us, playing on the bible reference. The three of us, our respective talents making a chord of music. We write Christian songs almost exclusively.

About a year ago, we had about 15 songs and decided to do an open mic thing in Ashland and Thunder Bay studios. It was terrible, mainly due to me. I was ridiculously nervous for the small crowd, lights on, sweating like a mad man (I was told I looked like Robert Hays trying to steer the shuttle from the sun in "Airplane II"). The setup, stagewise was all wrong for us. I could only hear my guitar coming back to me, I was looking at Dino's back, about a foot lower. I could not hear them, and we stunk. I thought I would never do that again. I knew I would be happy just to write for fun now and again. Well, since that night things have gone better. I have noticed more confidence in my playing...Dino and I did play at his church on morning and did very well. We have at least 5 more songs, some real good ones. We had made a pretty rough CD demo at a friend's studio before the Thunder Bay debacle, and Dino plays it for people. He knows alot of people in Kentucky, and everyone really likes it. He has had a few offers for us to play, and tonight we are going to do just that.

We are "headlining" a church function in Grayson Kentucky for a regional men's retreat facility. We are on their flyer, our first recognized poster for a performance. It sometimes brings in quite a few people, from alot of different churches, as it serves many areas. I am actually excited about it, and we have been practicing for a while for it. We are only playing 5 songs, three of our own and two traditional hymns, but hey, its a gig. So, I am praying that it goes well, not so much to get new gigs, but just so we don't sound stupid in front of people. However, we have some business cards made up and will be prepared to hand them out if requested. If we do well and gain interest, that would be nice...however, its not like I would ever want to make a living going all over the place on weekends to play music. Not my bag, but, for fun, if we play a few places and play well, I think it would be pretty cool.

ThreeFold Chord rides again.

Winterfest

Another Winterfest has come and gone, and this one has left a special memory with me. Of course, I always look forward to Winterfest, if not for the event itself, the chance to spend long hours with the youth is always a good thing. Relationships grow in the wee hours, when the barriers break down. Its good to see so many of our post-youth kids become the new chaperones. You have to understand, I have been to Winterfest with Norway, 3 times I think, and these chaperones were all in the group, with the exception of a few. I feel like I have been here forever, seeing our new crop of youth workers emerge.

The event was as good as it always is. Jeff had a fervor for baptism and the altar call, more than I had seen in years. His lessons were really strong, with a real evangelical bend to them. Tait was pretty good, playing a few faves from the old DC talk days. Watershed, well, they were Watershed. We sing well with them, but let me say that Saturday night, being on the left of the stage looking at the big fella in red is a bit much..."Ladies!". Bob Stromberg is always hilarious, but I must say, I have seen it. He needs to get a bit more new material. Lost and Found, I liked them. Of course, I like that European humor, so it fit right in "Stein Auf".

Our group had a pretty strong international feel to it. We had Francesca, from Milan, Italy. She is a guest of the Kaiser's and is an interesting girl. She gets along with our group pretty well and has commented on how she likes us because we don't put any pressure on her. We just want her to some and hang out, enjoy the company. Hedvig, a friend of Whitney Adkins, is the first perosn from Norway to be with the group from Norway. I got to speak with both of them for a bit about the differences between their cultures and ours, and was somewhat embarrassed at times about our fair country. Not to say that I don't love America, I do, but, honestly, we are gluttons. Both of the girls were struck by our food portions at restaurants. Something we see as normal, they saw as ridiculous. You can look at it is a sign of our plenty, no doubt we have a great system in place for the most part, but the downside of having it all and more is just that, you just want more. Of course we have Greg, who is Kenyan, but has been here for several years now. Yes, it was a regular UN on our trip.

So, the biggest thing for me to remember this Winterfest for is that my daughter gave her life to Jesus. She was baptized at the ripe age of 11, on Sunday morning at about 1 a.m. She has been talking to us about this for a few years, and we have had good discussions about it. Lisa dn I both knew that it was a matter of time for her, not if, but when. She has been a Godly girl for many years now. She had previously told us that she probalby would be baptised this year at camp, but that was too long after Saturday night's lesson. She turned to her mother after the altar call, had tears in her eyes and said she wanted to be baptized. We went back to the hotel and had our own worship with Matt McDowell. It was amazing, the songs, the atmosphere, just amazing. Our honorary member, Craig the bus driver, prayed over us, and it was so heartfelt. We love Craig, and I think he loves us as well. Then, we went to the pool. Severla of Sloane's girlfriends joined us in the pool, with Lisa, George and myself. I went into a two minute talk/rant on letting our emotions get the best of us. Stop holding back when we are struck in the heart, like it doesn't count because we were emotional. So then, as I started to get choked up, I took part in my daughter's second birth, just as I had done in the first. Amazing and peaceful....that is what I felt, not so much enthusiasm and peace and calm. I watched her hug others, and realized that my little girl was growing up. I got to stand back and see her coming into her own. Serene, I was just serene about it, and I still am. I remembered when I baptized my own brother not 4 years ago, at my last Winterfest with Kenova. I was exuberant, Dino and I witnessed to him for at least a couple of hours that night, not to mention the time before the weekend. I never felt that we were pressuring him, just giving him assurances. That was quite an experience, and I was exciited. I think the main difference is that he was 30, and I never knew for sure if he ever was going to accept Christ, but with Sloane, I knew it was going to happen, and so, it was just a moment of peace, seeing it finally come to fruition.

So there you go, that was my weekend. Full of the fun and good times Winterfest always is known for, but this year, for so much more. My daughter is now a sister to most of you who read this.

Derek Webb

I have to say, I am currently listening to my absolute favorite Christian singer/songwriter of all time...Derek Webb. I first heard DW (easier to type) when he was with Caedmon's Call, another of my favorite Christian artists, due in large part to DW. Songs like "Thankful", "Faith My Eyes", "Somewhere North", "Dance" and "I Boast No More" amazed me, not only in his delivery, but in their complexity both of lyric and music. The Call was definitely in heavy rotation for many years during his tenure.

DW then left the Call, mainly for the chance to get more of his material out. When you are in a group that has three lead singers, and several songwriters, your material doesn't always get played. So, much like the emancipation of Stevie Nicks on the Edge of Seventeen, DW struck out on his own. His first album, "She Must and Shall Go Free" is a killer. Now, some of you might not like all of his style. He definitely went around the way with different musical styles, but that is the album that contains what I consider the greatest song on the Gospel ever written, "Wedding Dress". When I first heard that song, I listened to it straight for about three or four days. I am not kidding. That was all that I heard at work all day long. It just was that kind of song, it struck me. He has had two more albums since his first solo release, "I See Things Upside Down" and "Mockingbird", and both are filled with such meaning, such strength in their songs. If you would like to hear a bit of DW, go to www.relevantmagazine.com and listen to their recent Podcast (middle of the page, near the low middle of the page). It is a long streaming broadcast, and you have to listen for a bit to get to DW, but it is worth it. He explains some of his thought concerning "Mockingbird" and two of the songs on it. You just need to hear him.

I was fortunate enough to hear DW twice. In 2002, we saw Caedmon's Call with DW at Ichthus. It was a rainy mess all day, but the rain stopped long enough for them to play their whole set. It was great, a really awesome memory, even with the rain and the muck (8 inches of sticky muck with sandals, YEAH BABY). I also saw him after the solo album, in a church in Columbus, just him and his guitars. He spoke at length, for 20 minutes one time, about the Gospel and Christianity. To hear that live version of "Wedding Dress", just him on stage, it was awesome and goes down as one of my favorite all time concert memories.

So, there, I felt he needed some props, so I give em. He is amazing, and I know that word is thrown alot, but to me, he truly is. His website is www.derekwebb.com. You should visit it, there are 4 songs from tne new album that you can hear on the main page. Good, Good, Good stuff.

*blaring "She Must and Shall Go Free" as I end this. "All her debts cast on me, She must and shall go free!"

Around the Office II

This is another view of my office, a large plant that resides in my window. I am one of the fortunate ones who have a nice office with a window facing a real window, on the outer wall, so I get quite a bit of sun. This plant belonged to a co-worker, who was slowly killing it. I had bought a few small plants that were doing well, so she asked me to put it here for rehab. It began to do really well and I have kept it ever since. Its probably about 18 inches tall now, and keeps putting out newer leaves. There are actually 4 different plants in one planter.

OK, this is getting sad. Everyone else is putting down these wonderful, spiritual thoughts and meditations, and here I am taking office pictures. I mean, its just a plant, but I really enjoy it. Plus, its really easy to deal with. I mean, I have a perfect amount of sun everyday, so all you have to do is water, which I do a couple of times a week.

Maybe that is the slant. Imagine, if the plant decided to force out the water I give it. If it just did not want the thing that makes it thrive. What if it also was able to move, out of the window and under a shelf, out of the sun that gives it life. "Why" would be my question. Why do you want to live a weaker, frailer life than you could live? Why would you want to become dry and dead, leaves turning brown, stalks withering? I mean, really, if it were my kid acting that way, I would take them to the hospital, and maybe the psych ward. If Dakota or Sloane refused to take nourishment, you bet I would be concerned and show action. I mean, what, do they think that I, who has been with them since birth, would let them do that to themselves? No way.

Imagine how our Father feels when we just blatantly won't take in what he has to give us to live well, to grow and mature. Really, is our ignoring the walk of our faith any different than refusing to eat? If we refuse to pray, meditate, worship, study, will we thrive any more than the dying plant, unwatered, unsunned, withering in a place it was not meant to be? Again, I would be taking my kids to the ER, but we are given that choice. I would commit my kids against their will in a heartbeat, but we have a Father that desires us to desire him. There will be no rushing us to the ER without our permission, and if we want to sit and suffer and grow weaker and weaker, then, we have the ability to. Don't get me wrong, God pursues, God is in front of us, waving his arms, trying to get our attention. God is longing for us to eat and drink from Him...but not without us actually saying the word.

I know that I don't look like a guy who has fasted, with my love of food and all, but I have in the past. Let me tell you, it is something you have to experience to understand. After a certain amount of time goes by, your thoughts just center around that need to eat. Food becomes the be all end all. For some, it may take longer to get there, but you will. You cannot think about anything else, just nourishment. Fasting shows how drastically we need God. As much as I was consumed by the need for, and thoughts of food, my spirit is feeling the same for the nourishment of faith. The old song, "As the Deer" tries to make this though clear. "So my soul longs after you", that is a powerful line when you know true longing.

There are many, many of us, most of us, who commit a spiritual suicide every day. A hunger strike against living water. It is that drastic, and yet, we are still starving ourselves, dying of thirst. Nourishment is waiting, hot and ready, cool and quenching, ready for us to take it. Pray and receive it. Read the bible and eat. Worship and drink. Medidate and be filled. Think of what we could be if we just did those things. If we are anything like this plant I have, we will be tall and vibrant and beautiful.

Around the Office

OK, this is certainly a stupid idea, no doubt about it, but, I was looking at my office camera and took this picture as a test.



This is my silly idea that goes with this pic. It is taken from the perspective of a coffee cup that serves as a pen holder, looking on at my travel coffee mug that actually serves the purpose of coffee vessel. I imagine the feelings of low self esteem and bitterness from the white mug. All this time, holding pens and markers, getting dusty, never getting any attention.

"Look at better-than-everyone Mr. Copper," says the mug, "I'll bet he is keeping some coffee hot for his owner, while I just hold pens, most of which never get touched. Look at him, he doesn't care about anyone but himself. He gets washed, carried to meetings...all I get is a stupid pen from a conference that he went to a year ago. If I could only once, just once, be drunk from, that is what I was made for, that is who I AM!! But NO, its not gonna happen. I have too many ink marks that will not be cleaned. If I could only move, I would show that thermal mug a thing or two."

OK, that was a bit strange. All that from just a picture. I spared you from the thoughts of coffee mug suicide, with the mug imagining how sorry I'd be when he was broken, letting all of my pens spread all over the floor.

I honestly don't know why I even posted this, but hey, there you go. Just call it my "Deep thoughts with Jack Handey" post.

Wow, has it been that long?

Yes, it has been that long! I suppose most of the time I just feel I have nothing to say, though I check my blogmate's sites just about every other day, just to see what they might be saying. Its not like I have nothing going on, its just, I don't always feel that it is noteworthy.

However, here is just an update. We had a busy holiday season, as any parent should. We traveled twice, once on the annual trip to my brother-in-law's in Portsmouth, VA. This is Lisa's brother and his wife, who had a new baby girl in August. This year was disappointing. Her brother was pretty much a jerk in general, especially one time on the last night. Just not the fun we normally experience. He is one of those guys who just think they are a bit more important than anyone else, plus he is a policeman, so those two things go hand in hand. They feed off of each other. I am sure that not all officers of the law are like this, but probably a majority.

Then, just last week, Lisa's dad had knee replacement surgery in Columbus. So, we were up there and had a nice time, aside from the surgery, which actually was not bad and he made it through very well. Good eats, good time with my friends as well, we had it all. Came back on Wednesday.

Note on Tex, Lisa's dad...he is one tough son of a gun. He is going to be 66 this April, and you should have seen this guy. He makes it through surgery, and the next day is walking farther on a walker than most patients at his same level. Then, he is home on Thursday, exercising that new knee, and gets downgraded from walker to cane in two days. He will be golfing before we know it.

Kids are doing well, things have been alot more even keeled around the home. Upbeat. Not to say that things are bad by any means, but both Lisa and I are taking courses, and that puts a wear on things, just stressing mainly.

Spiritually, been doing better. I have my ups and downs, and lately, it has been down. Spoke Wednesday night Jan 4th at youth worship, and it was alright, a bit pressed though. Then, I was called by Toney to speak out at their own WInterfest warm up weekend. It was wonderful, a lot of what I needed. To think I was rushing to finish thoughts about an hour before. God put things the right way, and whether anyone was affected, I was affected by the response. Alot of attention for someone who might have gone over the 25 minute mark. It just seemed that everyone was there, we were all connected with what God was saying, and I was blessed tobe a part of it. Thanks Toney.

Norway has been pretty good as well. Let me say, I often am put off a bit by the production value. It just seems too slick sometimes. however, the last two Sundays, by the end, things just were clicking, and I actually felt presence for the first time in a long time. Praise and being able to be a part of people's lives go great together. I was also blessed and honored to baptize one of ouor younger sister's a few weeks ago, that meant alot. If you look at what this month, you might see an awakening. I think God is bringing me out of that place where I was, I just need to be aware and available. Good things.

So, I am now off to class, see you all soon. I have a lot of ideas to post and read and just be better. Resolutions. I am going to a gym at work two days a week to start with during lunch, taking vitamins and supplements. Who knows what is in store!?!?! I am excited about the possibilities.

Be good

Top 5 Ugliest Rockers

This list began today whilst lunching at Benjy's HD. They have their own music video system there, and we were presented with some nice rock music. I can't remember who we saw, but this conversation started. I will try to provide picks.

5. Bryan Adams - This guy, something happened to him between his really cool, blue jeans and white T-shirt 80's til now. His music sucks now too.










4. Mick Jones - This is the guy who started the Clash, then Big Audio Dynamite. He exemplifies the stereotype of poor dentistry in Britain.












3. Rick Ocasek - The Cars front man, not a pretty picture, and this guy married a model that was the Sports Illustrated top pick for many of my formative 80's years. By the way, does he not resemble Patty Smith, the punk rocker? I think so.












2. Shane MacGowan - He looks a little bit like an extra from the movie "Deliverance". He is the former front man for the Pouges. Not a pretty picture.











And now, the moment you have all been waiting for. The number one, ugliest rocker is...


1. Geddy Lee - This guy, without a doubt in my mind, is the King of Ugly in the world of rock. Sure, there is Lyle Lovett, but the fact that he was once married to Julia Roberts gives him amnesty from this list. So, I present, the leader of one of my favorite bands of all time, Geddy Lee.
























Honorable mentions go out to Bill Berry, former drummer for REM.

Been a while

Hey there, i'll bet you have been wondering about my where-abouts. Well, Mr. Rob has been in the doldrums up til a few days ago. I had many irons in the fire and much stress about expectations. A project at work, the Children's Ministry Christmas Extravaganza (it won't be an extravaganza, but it will be nice), two final projects and random homework due, general messiness, etc., etc. I was told on three occasions that I either looked worn out, bleary eyed or had been in a bad mood for too long. I was reminded that my bad mood affected others at the office, those who depended on me (this by a co-worker, not a manager, this was not a talkin' to or anything).

I was like, "Hey, just add some more guilt to the already ridiculous pressure that I was feeling (self-induced, at least part of it)". But, I needed it...I needed to think about things like that. Maybe those things are more important than I think. And he was right, I had not been myself in a long while. Mr. Happy Go Lucky had been replaced by a guy who has not had a hair cut in a long while and has put on about 5 to 10 pounds since Spetember (its not like I didn't weigh enough anyway). I no longer felt the desire to be funny, except with a few people at work. I just wanted to get through things. Yeah, it got pretty skanky there, I think I contracted emotional bird flu.

So, a breakthrough was imminent. I did pray about my situation, and the need for strength, deliverance, outlook, solutions, etc. This past week, the big sticky project at work that had been wearing me down finally gave way, and I was shown to know what I was doing. I have a problem with insecurity with bosses, always have. Even though I get great evals, I am always wondering (I was listed as an "Invaluable Asset" in my last eval). So, if I have a project that is failing, I take it personally. I get antsy. Needless to say, I was MAJOR antsy.

Then, I was presented with a small book of Christmas programs. For two weeks I had been trying to get the kids to put on a program of mainly songs and some verse reading. Not a great idea, it wasn't working out. So I found this very nice, short, easy program that is gonna work out great. Things are on the mend...which is good to hear. Jeff came and visited me in the office and we talked for a half hour, which was great. Things just feel like they are turning around. I finished a decent part of my final in one class (group project). Now, I am taking more of a lead in my two person group in another class (I won't yet go into how much I despise the setup of that class. Lets just say that I think about how miserable that class format is about every day!). So, busy weekend ahead, filled with class stuff mainly, but that is OK, it will go well, I am sure.

So, the moral of the story to me is, everyone spends time in the valley...emotionally, spiritually. I think I let it get to me too much, but we all have those times. God is faithful to reach us and show us the path, but the valleys are important. You often find the truth of relationship and faith in those difficult, trudging times. And, according to a Caedmon's Call song, when God baptizes the earth with the Spirit, the valleys fill first.

So, I got that going for me, as well as total consciousness on my deathbed (random movie reference).

RobWill

Thar She Blows!

This post comes at the request of one of the readers of this blog. Funny thing is, I didn't think anyone read it! I mean, I was talking about it last night, then I get a comment from a certain someone wanting me to post again. How nice.

So, Trick or Trunkin' has come and gone. We had a great year, that is certain. We had 84 kids registered, and of that amount, we had 56 who were not form Norway. Add to that the stragglers who did not register and we estimate that we had close to 100 kids, with most coming from the community. That is AWESOME. We have been putting some effort into outreach with the kids. We had a carnival in August, and passed out flyers for it the week before. Its a pretty low income area, and we hope to do some good. Anyway, the kids who came to the carnival registered, we got their addresses and sent them invitations to our Trick or Trunkin. It worked well, along with flyers in bags of candy passed out by our college group days before. God seems to be working with this, and that is something to be a part of.

However, there was a side issue with Trick or Trunkin that deserves its space. Every year we have a trunk decoration contest...and I wanted to win it. We were 3 year veterans at this point, and I just needed to step up. We may have been the cinderella in the 2003 season and surprised the crowd by taking second place with "Fall Fantasy", complete with hay bale...but c'mon, anyone who was there in 2004 saw the sophomore slump that was "Winter Fantasy". We mailed that effort in, just not enough pushing of ourselves to do better. It definitely left a bitter taste in my mouth. Add to that the fact that last year, I volunteered for cleanup and you can just imagine what a bummer of an evening that was. Coming out of that dissapointment, on the way home that evening, I thought about what we would do next year. *Light Bulb* "Hey" sez I, "how about we turn our van into the whale that ate Jonah, and I will be Jonah in the trunk, handing out candy". Pandemonium is the best word to describe what went on. Everyone was into it, it was going to be ROSSUUMMM!

Flash forward to about 4 weeks before the event. I had been in thoughts on the design and knew the basics of what I would need. Lisa and I were at Lattas for some decorations for her office when I saw the perfect posterpaper "skin" for our whale. I mean, you would have thought that Chrylser has actually manufactured the poster, it was a great match. We bought 20 sheets and I felt pretty excited. Then I started thinking about the time involved, "No sweat" I told myself. HA, that was ironic, as I put forth more than a bit of sweat into this project.

Now, it is cleanup week inthe village (yes, I actually live in an official village). I had been fretting about the amount of cardboard I would need for a project this immense, and was very fortunate to see several large pieces which originally held storm doors on someone's porch for disposal. I asked and recieved the whole lot. I am so ahead of the game at this point (about 10 days away). Well, I set them out front only to get rained on. That was clever, everyone knows how strong cardboard is once it got wet. However, no worries, I salvaged enough. On Sunday, a week before, I began on the tail of the whale. Hmm, that took a bit more effort than first thought, lots of measuring, re-measuring, etc. By afternoon's end, I had a perfect tail and fluke cardboard skeleton just waiting on skin. Now, at this point, a week earlier, you are thinking that I am gonna get this stuff out of the way early. Ah, you must not know me very well, cause I be a procrastinator. Yes, after that initial burst, nothing happened until Thursday. That evening, I covered the tail in its "skin" and saw that this might look good. Friday evening I began the measuring process for the head. WOW, this is gonna be big. I finished about all of the skeleton that night, late, getting irritated about how long it was taking. You see this is the game. I put it off, then, when I finally start, I get mad at the project for taking longer than I wanted to allow it. Lets just say that, on Saturday night, I spent the time covering it in the poster board skin and that lasted til 3:30 a.m. But wait, I get to set the clock back an hour...its only 2:30 a.m. YEAH, that makes a heck of a difference! Not really, but I used it to psych myself up!

So Sunday afternoon, I finished it, and stowed it to hit the parking lot that evening (I think I finished everything about a 1/2 hour before we had to leave. Finally, set up time. As I was setting it up, I got quite a bit of oohs and aahs, that was what I was looking for in the first place, right? "Yeah, I know, it's good...hey, someone has to win, right". Right about now, you are thinking, "Man, this guy has quite a bit of...umm...tendencies". I know, I know. I like things like this, but I rationalize it by saying that everything is a craft, just on a bigger scale. Building a house, its just a really large craft project...yeah, keep telling yourself that. All the while, people are coming up to Lisa and saying, "You guys did a good job on that", and she is saying, "No, not me, all Rob". That's right, all me! So, after two complete rolls of packing tape, 1.75 rolls of duct tape, about 23 sheets of poster board and a lot of cardboard, the whale lived...and yeah, I got first place. A strong performance from the third year vet. The next day, Lisa is like, "Next year we could do this" and I am like, "Hey now, we are honorary judges next year who cannot win...we are NOT putting effort into something that won't get properly recognized...SHEESH!"

2007, you better watch out, cause here we come!

The whale in all its glory!

Bill Simmons

If you know who Bill Simmons is, then consider yourself lucky. If you don't, then I advise you to go look him up of ESPN's Page 2 (everyone but Cory, although, if you can get past the topic of every article being sports, you would like it too). This guy is one of the funniest writers I know of...maybe it just has something to do with him making all of the older references that I so appreciate. Here is a part of an article on his NFL picks, with reference to one of his fantasy teams.

"Three things you need to know about our team. First, we have Daunte Culpepper, who has pretty much given us fantasy SARS at this point. Watching him on the Vikings every week is slowly killing my soul. I'm not even kidding. I am going to rob a liquor store or something soon. I'm filled with hate"

Fantasy SARS, now that is funny stuff. I went into a Tim Cotton silent laugh on that for about 10 minutes.

So, read his stuff, he is funny beyond reason. He makes me laugh like the Kevin James special "Sweat the Small Stuff".

Music II

Well, here we go again, self-indulgence at its finest. My time to point out the music I am currently enjoying. If you have ever seen "High Fidelity", the backdrop is a record store, staffed by three music snobs. They, especially Jack Black's character, take pleasure in reminding people of their musical superiority. They make the patrons, at least the one's that they don't like, seem foolish to not know what is cool or not cool. I give you this exchange:

Customer: "Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday."
Jack Black: "Yea we have it."
Customer: "Well, can I have it?"
Barry: "No, actually, you can't."
Customer: "Why not?"
Barry: "Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song. Oops, is she in a coma?"

"High Fidelity" is one of my favorite movies of all time, and that kind of dialouge is what makes it. Music inspires that kind of talk, discussions on which is better, what is the top 5 of this or that. I can remember driving in a field on a late Friday night, and getting into inebriated, hours-long arguments over whether Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page or David Gilmour was the best guitarist. Important stuff back then.

Anyway, back to the original idea...my musical selections of late. Again, I have no intention of trying to show off about how cool I am, just making a list. Besides, who reads this blog anyway?

1. Embrace - Just one of those groups who are a bit Coldplay-ish. I think Coldplay started a cottage industry for this style of music. However, this is good. Props to my man, Glen Imlay, for introducing me to this band. I have successfully shared it with two others who dig it as well.

2. Sloan - Canadian band. In 1991, I caught a video for one of their songs on "Post-modern MTV" (yeah, they played videos back then). Killer song, so I went to this record store downtown, Davidson's. This was one of those great, hole-in-the-wall places that smelled of incense and had a lot of tie-dye around. My church-raised conservative self really envied this place and its people. I so wanted to be like them, and tried a bit for a while back in the day. It never took, but I have some good memories. Part of the problem was that the culture was changing. This latter-day hippy thing was winding down just as the hip hop culture was winding up. Even though I enjoyed MC Hammer, Rob Base, Kool Moe Dee and the like when we were at the...umm...establishments built for dancing and the like, I still wanted the alternative stuff more. Anyway, after seeing a reference for this band, I busted out my CD and remembered how much of a raucous, noisy, great band that they were.

3. Anathallo - I really dig this stuff sometimes. This is very much and indie style Christian band that utilizes horns as well as the regular geetars, etc. A lot of dynamics, textures, etc. Just really good stuff.

4. Kaiser Chiefs - Sort of in line with the Bravery, Bloc Party...British new wave type stuff. Hard to explain, I sometimes think of the Romantics when I hear this stuff.

5. DJ Shadow - Just a great DJ who mixes in mainly the percussion side of things, drums, pianos, xylophones, etc. Good is all I can say, smooth, mellow...good stuff.

That is a good list for now.

Dakota's 2nd Grade picture

This is Dakota, my 7 year old. His latest picture is the bottom one, in 2nd grade. On the top, that was from last year, really, only one year ago. So, do I have a future hippie? Maybe. Is he trying out for "The Strokes"? Maybe. You know, I see his hair everyday but it wasn't until this pic came out that I realized how long it is getting. Lisa and I both like it, and are letting him grow it out. I don't know how long though. If we let it grow through the year, we could be looking at a serious headbanger. A new gentleman in our church asked about our "daughter". I imagine if Dakota knew that, he might want a cut. Oh well...I must say, it is amazing how much he has grown in a year, hair and all.