Been a while

Hey there, i'll bet you have been wondering about my where-abouts. Well, Mr. Rob has been in the doldrums up til a few days ago. I had many irons in the fire and much stress about expectations. A project at work, the Children's Ministry Christmas Extravaganza (it won't be an extravaganza, but it will be nice), two final projects and random homework due, general messiness, etc., etc. I was told on three occasions that I either looked worn out, bleary eyed or had been in a bad mood for too long. I was reminded that my bad mood affected others at the office, those who depended on me (this by a co-worker, not a manager, this was not a talkin' to or anything).

I was like, "Hey, just add some more guilt to the already ridiculous pressure that I was feeling (self-induced, at least part of it)". But, I needed it...I needed to think about things like that. Maybe those things are more important than I think. And he was right, I had not been myself in a long while. Mr. Happy Go Lucky had been replaced by a guy who has not had a hair cut in a long while and has put on about 5 to 10 pounds since Spetember (its not like I didn't weigh enough anyway). I no longer felt the desire to be funny, except with a few people at work. I just wanted to get through things. Yeah, it got pretty skanky there, I think I contracted emotional bird flu.

So, a breakthrough was imminent. I did pray about my situation, and the need for strength, deliverance, outlook, solutions, etc. This past week, the big sticky project at work that had been wearing me down finally gave way, and I was shown to know what I was doing. I have a problem with insecurity with bosses, always have. Even though I get great evals, I am always wondering (I was listed as an "Invaluable Asset" in my last eval). So, if I have a project that is failing, I take it personally. I get antsy. Needless to say, I was MAJOR antsy.

Then, I was presented with a small book of Christmas programs. For two weeks I had been trying to get the kids to put on a program of mainly songs and some verse reading. Not a great idea, it wasn't working out. So I found this very nice, short, easy program that is gonna work out great. Things are on the mend...which is good to hear. Jeff came and visited me in the office and we talked for a half hour, which was great. Things just feel like they are turning around. I finished a decent part of my final in one class (group project). Now, I am taking more of a lead in my two person group in another class (I won't yet go into how much I despise the setup of that class. Lets just say that I think about how miserable that class format is about every day!). So, busy weekend ahead, filled with class stuff mainly, but that is OK, it will go well, I am sure.

So, the moral of the story to me is, everyone spends time in the valley...emotionally, spiritually. I think I let it get to me too much, but we all have those times. God is faithful to reach us and show us the path, but the valleys are important. You often find the truth of relationship and faith in those difficult, trudging times. And, according to a Caedmon's Call song, when God baptizes the earth with the Spirit, the valleys fill first.

So, I got that going for me, as well as total consciousness on my deathbed (random movie reference).

RobWill