Let's Get Ready to RUMBLE

DISCLAIMER: For those of you who think I work really hard at my job, please, stop reading. I don't want to change your opinion!

That old saying that, "When the cat is away, the mice will play" was never any truer than yesterday. Seems that both my immediate supervisor and the manager of our department were out sick. Well, that does not happen too often and it became the impetus for a legendary event. All was well until after lunch, we were working happily, things quiet, etc. What happened next started a squeezie ball fight of epic porportions.

One of the said squeezie balls (see picture, upper left) flew into my cubicle. Well, I am too close to the wall to be hit from that angle, but I knew that this was an overture for battle. Then, about 4 more is succession came over, lobbed shots, but shots none the less. I quickly gathered up the ordinance and checked out the competition. My coworker Javey had started something he would regret. Andrew, sensing some action, wanted a piece too. Our cubicles are quardened off, 4 square cubicles forming a larger square, then another, etc. A regular cubicle village, with neat square blocks. Anyway, Andrew circled around the right, I went to the left, Javey in the corner facing us both. A small skirmish, we all took a bit of hits, and then some others joined the fray. After that, I sat back in the cube and proceeded to check out this laptop I was working on. Then, "BOOM", a very hard shot is volleyed at the office, then a few more. I am not hit, but the game is afoot. This time, Andrew, whose bloodlust had not been sated, fires at me. He's a mercenary...he has no loyalties.

This battle is a vertical battle. I get on my desk to see above my walls. It is Andrew, waiting. We circle one another, throw a few shots (Andrew throws like he is trying out for the Yankees AAA club). It gets more involved, with others in the mix. He nails me in the ear and as he runs, I climb my desk and hit him in the neck and ear, in what can only described as the perfect shot. A half second more, he is hidden behind a wall. I narrowly miss the wall and bust that big head of his. The highlight of this battle is when I circle around, find him on the desk in the cube next to me, ready to surprise me in my office.

Now, you are thinking he is dead to rights. I was. I threw 6 shots at him and went high everytime. I mean, I had just made an incredible shot, and I am missing these like Rick Vaughn without glasses. I was trying a sidearmed approach, around a windowed wall, so it just didn't work. He begins guffawing at me, but, in kharmic revenge, falls off of the desk and into the floor. He is fine, but, man, that was funny. So, this match is over. All is well.

At least, that is what I thought. Ken, a suck up from across the carpet street, begins to volley into my office again. Only thing is, he is at the perfect angle, hitting me from the door side of my office. I am in his sights, and he hits me, my coffee cup and my plants. Well, this is war. I am beginning to feel like Al Pacino in the last Godfather..."Just when I think I am out, they PULL me back in!" I loft into his office, and then the battle is street side. Andrew, not liking Ken, gets into it as well. Ken, well, he is a suckup. He visits his supervisor's and upper manager's office at least 5 times a day. The manager loves him, Ken the yes man, the brown nose...etc. He is not despised, but he is the Newman to our collective Seinfeld. We all say his name in the same sardonic tone. So, that battle rages. I am telling you, it was like the Gaza Strip yesterday.

So, there you go. A bossless day and there will be some play. My favorite shot of the day happenend when I left. As I walked past Ken's office, he was on the phone. I lobbed a shot over his wall...I heard things falling and Ken being struck. That was the sweetest shot of the day.